1. Assignment
Does the draft carry out the assignment?
Yes it does. It has a clear theme and is visually appealing through the use of pictures in combination with the words.
What could be done to better fulfill the assignment?
I think that you are on a good track to having a really nice final product. If you continue to add genres - perhaps some that differ from the image-driven work that you have now - I think you will have a well rounded final piece of work.
2. Title and Introduction:
Does the title state what the draft is about?
Yes it does.
Is it interesting?
It is more informative than creative but is clear and to the point. Perhaps you could use the format of Title/Subtitle to add some creative flare.
How does it catch the reader’s attention?
It appeals to the emotions of your reader by focusing in on a fairly touchy subject and by not beating around the bush.
3. Supporting points:
List the main point(s) made in the draft, in order of presentation. Note particularly parts that were not interesting or that seemed unnecessary.
The draft goes through the ropes of why Romney is the lesser of two candidates [both personally and professionally] when it comes to animal rights. Your Prezi was particularly interesting and was a nice break from conventional presentation forms, however, your poem about Obama seemed a bit out of context through it was a nice piece. I don't think that eliminating it from your final product will work to your benefit, though perhaps introducing it somehow and placing it in context with your theme will help it make a bit more sense to the project.
Do any genres/modes need to be explained more fully or less fully?
Should any be eliminated?
Explained Above
Are any confusing to you?
Explained above
How well are the main points supported by evidence, examples, or details?
Your project is clearly based on emotional appeal which works well to bring your reader in. Your Prezi, with all of the statistics you provided, adds some factual legitimacy to your work. As stated above, if you continue doing this, your final will be a well rounded, well supported emotional appeal to your audience.
4. Genres (not as applicable for those producing a documentary):
Included in answer to question 3
5. Modes:
Read through draft and choose two modes you consider the most interesting or the best drafted because they are stylistically effective, entertaining, or memorable for some other reason.
Then choose the two you see as weakest, whether confusing, awkward, or simply uninspired.
Your modes all have their own appeal for different reasons. Your images are visually appealing, you Prezi is factual, and your poem tugs at your audience's heart strings.
Your first image and your Prezi work the best for you. They are clear, concise, and I feel as if I have learned something after viewing them.
Your poem about Obama and the story about the dog are also string; however, as stated above, it would help if you provided some context for your poem and the words that are overlaid on the picture of the dog are not entirely easy to read.
6. Words & Sentences:
Are verbs active and vivid?
Yes. Your word choice enhanced my experience of reading through your project.
Are sentences varied in length, in structure, and in their openings?
Note words that are particularly effective--those that draw vivid pictures or provoke strong responses.
Yes. Because your genres are different in nature, the words that you use within them are inherently different as well. Your use of first person in you dog's testimonial is extremely effective and if possible, I would like to see more of this in future genres. Otherwise, your direct nature helps your audience because they do not have to read too far to understand your point. Your language is direct and that works very well for you.
Then note words that are weak, vague, or unclear. Do any words need to be defined?
There are no specific words that stood out to me as weak. My only suggestion would be to go back through your current genres and reexamine the language you use and elaborate on it. In the case of the Prezi wherein you are presenting factual information, perhaps enhance your diction to represent the cut and dry nature of statistics. Likewise, take a look at your creative forms and dare to go towards the bent of creativity. Push some boundaries - doing so may make your language more effective.
Are any words potentially offensive, to the intended audience or anyone else?
Nope!
7. Conclusion:
Does the conclusion or concluding genre end the project in a memorable way, or does it seem to end abruptly or trail off into vagueness?
Due to the fact that this is a draft, the conclusion seems to be relatively absent. I am curious to see how you end up bringing this to a close.
8. Final thoughts:
What are the main strengths and weaknesses in the draft?
What was the single most important thing said?
Your biggest strength was the accessibility of your writing. You include a strong emotional appeal in your work and it comes through to your reader. You also include a good variety of images, text, and sources and this works to help create a nice, well-rounded piece.
There was no one particular thing that jumped off of the page so far as weaknesses are concerned. Your modes are strong with minor faults as I stated above, though no issue on your page is insurmountable. I enjoyed reading your project and look forward to seeing where you take it as it progresses.
Does the draft carry out the assignment?
Yes it does. It has a clear theme and is visually appealing through the use of pictures in combination with the words.
What could be done to better fulfill the assignment?
I think that you are on a good track to having a really nice final product. If you continue to add genres - perhaps some that differ from the image-driven work that you have now - I think you will have a well rounded final piece of work.
2. Title and Introduction:
Does the title state what the draft is about?
Yes it does.
Is it interesting?
It is more informative than creative but is clear and to the point. Perhaps you could use the format of Title/Subtitle to add some creative flare.
How does it catch the reader’s attention?
It appeals to the emotions of your reader by focusing in on a fairly touchy subject and by not beating around the bush.
3. Supporting points:
List the main point(s) made in the draft, in order of presentation. Note particularly parts that were not interesting or that seemed unnecessary.
The draft goes through the ropes of why Romney is the lesser of two candidates [both personally and professionally] when it comes to animal rights. Your Prezi was particularly interesting and was a nice break from conventional presentation forms, however, your poem about Obama seemed a bit out of context through it was a nice piece. I don't think that eliminating it from your final product will work to your benefit, though perhaps introducing it somehow and placing it in context with your theme will help it make a bit more sense to the project.
Do any genres/modes need to be explained more fully or less fully?
Should any be eliminated?
Explained Above
Are any confusing to you?
Explained above
How well are the main points supported by evidence, examples, or details?
Your project is clearly based on emotional appeal which works well to bring your reader in. Your Prezi, with all of the statistics you provided, adds some factual legitimacy to your work. As stated above, if you continue doing this, your final will be a well rounded, well supported emotional appeal to your audience.
4. Genres (not as applicable for those producing a documentary):
Included in answer to question 3
5. Modes:
Read through draft and choose two modes you consider the most interesting or the best drafted because they are stylistically effective, entertaining, or memorable for some other reason.
Then choose the two you see as weakest, whether confusing, awkward, or simply uninspired.
Your modes all have their own appeal for different reasons. Your images are visually appealing, you Prezi is factual, and your poem tugs at your audience's heart strings.
Your first image and your Prezi work the best for you. They are clear, concise, and I feel as if I have learned something after viewing them.
Your poem about Obama and the story about the dog are also string; however, as stated above, it would help if you provided some context for your poem and the words that are overlaid on the picture of the dog are not entirely easy to read.
6. Words & Sentences:
Are verbs active and vivid?
Yes. Your word choice enhanced my experience of reading through your project.
Are sentences varied in length, in structure, and in their openings?
Note words that are particularly effective--those that draw vivid pictures or provoke strong responses.
Yes. Because your genres are different in nature, the words that you use within them are inherently different as well. Your use of first person in you dog's testimonial is extremely effective and if possible, I would like to see more of this in future genres. Otherwise, your direct nature helps your audience because they do not have to read too far to understand your point. Your language is direct and that works very well for you.
Then note words that are weak, vague, or unclear. Do any words need to be defined?
There are no specific words that stood out to me as weak. My only suggestion would be to go back through your current genres and reexamine the language you use and elaborate on it. In the case of the Prezi wherein you are presenting factual information, perhaps enhance your diction to represent the cut and dry nature of statistics. Likewise, take a look at your creative forms and dare to go towards the bent of creativity. Push some boundaries - doing so may make your language more effective.
Are any words potentially offensive, to the intended audience or anyone else?
Nope!
7. Conclusion:
Does the conclusion or concluding genre end the project in a memorable way, or does it seem to end abruptly or trail off into vagueness?
Due to the fact that this is a draft, the conclusion seems to be relatively absent. I am curious to see how you end up bringing this to a close.
8. Final thoughts:
What are the main strengths and weaknesses in the draft?
What was the single most important thing said?
Your biggest strength was the accessibility of your writing. You include a strong emotional appeal in your work and it comes through to your reader. You also include a good variety of images, text, and sources and this works to help create a nice, well-rounded piece.
There was no one particular thing that jumped off of the page so far as weaknesses are concerned. Your modes are strong with minor faults as I stated above, though no issue on your page is insurmountable. I enjoyed reading your project and look forward to seeing where you take it as it progresses.
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